the guy asks me if I want to smoke a cigarette with him. he’s blonde and skinny and looks eighteen. hopefully is older than that. we leave the others inside. he lights my cigarette and after thirty seconds of conversation finds a way to ask me if I have a girlfriend. I wouldn’t have a girlfriend, I say, I would have a boyfriend. anyway, I don’t. oh, so you’re gay. he hasn’t even finished the sentence and his tongue is already in my mouth. I didn’t really expect that but I’m drunk and it turns me on right away. I hold his little blonde head in my hands and suck is neck. then I drag him on this big steps made of stone, I lift his shirt and start kissing and licking his flat pale belly. it’s easy to leave marks on skins like his. I get carried away and I don’t really give him the time to react to anything, or even breathe. we realize it’s not a good place, though, and everyone else is still inside so we decide to postpone our encounter. we go back inside and nobody seems to have noticed our absence or us coming back. I keep drinking and dancing and make jokes and laugh. after a few minutes I realize the guy is not around and I go looking for him. It’s raining outside. I find him standing against the big gate looking outside like a prisoner. as I get close I ask him what he’s doing. he turns around and I see the camera in his hands, just taking some pictures, he says. I get closer and I kiss him again and he kisses me back. there’s a little dark road that goes up the hill on the other side of the street. we clearly can’t wait any longer so we exit through the gate and take it. it’s dark and the sound of the rain clapping is loud around us. I go down a little slope I know and we undress each other. we lie down and I’m over him and I can see his pretty face. I hear the sound of the rain getting heavier. I guess is what you could call a romantic moment. I turn him around and his back is full of little black leaves, stalks and insects. a map of all you can find on the ground. I stare for a second, something is turning me off. it’s too rainy out here, I say. it takes a while to find our clothes, then we put them on and go back inside. everyone is too wasted to notice our state when we enter the room. maybe another hour goes by. at the end of the night I decide that I still want to get off and go to his room. there’s only a little lamp on and we get naked again. I get right to the point, put my legs around his neck and start fucking his mouth. his eyes are closed as to say that’s what I wanted. he wants me to come over his face. I do that and his eyes are still shut. we lie there, exhausted, for a few minutes. then I get up, collect my stuff, take a cigarette out of his packet and leave. he’s already asleep. I get dressed just outside the door. I go on the big balcony and light my cigarette. it’s silent. I burst out laughing thinking about the guy, earlier, looking up and telling me to talk to him in ‘italiano’ with my cock in his hands. the laugh turns into a smile that fades into a frown. I take a long drag from my cigarette. I think about all the fucks I had in my life and how they always follow the same routine. right ahead I see the dark shapes of the hills, the quietness of the moon casting a light on them. I think it’s beautiful. I think about the potential of this setting.
the potential of this setting